Today is my last day here, in CNN IBN office. My much-desired, much-coveted internship is finally at its glorious end today. I say glorious because I enjoyed lot during this period, more importantly learned a lot. I met some wonderful people, made friends, nurtured feelings, hoping that I left an impression.
I thought I would personally go and say bye to some people. This was planned some days back. But then towards the stipulated time, I am having different thoughts. I shall tell you the reason.
Yesterday, one intern left and today I will be leaving. While we were in office yesterday, I saw them taking interviews of 15 new interns. Our positions were filled even before we had vacated them. Like how it happens in government hospitals. I saw the process and guess I had a pang inside. Somebody else would be occupying my seat, working on the same computer that I am working at the moment and no one would even think about me. My hours of work and dedication would soon be confined to a letter of appreciation.
I have always been sure of my feelings. Well, lets say most of the times. Sometimes, there has been a chaos. Each emotion trying hard for the biggest space in my head. And in that chaos, the moment gets lost. Such is the situation today. I know I will miss this office, some people, the running around etc. But will I do it again if given a chance? I dont know.
I think the change of dreams are responsible for this havoc in my head. I mean I always wanted to belong to the media in Mumbai, but when I actually went through a 'test-dose' in this one month, I am not sure if this is what I wanted. Failure in dreams is at least an end, but confusion at this stage is scary. I know I want to be in the field of media but in Mumbai is not something concrete in my mind anymore.
Hmm. I guess that is too much of speaking-my-mind done. So that's all for now.
I thought I would personally go and say bye to some people. This was planned some days back. But then towards the stipulated time, I am having different thoughts. I shall tell you the reason.
Yesterday, one intern left and today I will be leaving. While we were in office yesterday, I saw them taking interviews of 15 new interns. Our positions were filled even before we had vacated them. Like how it happens in government hospitals. I saw the process and guess I had a pang inside. Somebody else would be occupying my seat, working on the same computer that I am working at the moment and no one would even think about me. My hours of work and dedication would soon be confined to a letter of appreciation.
I have always been sure of my feelings. Well, lets say most of the times. Sometimes, there has been a chaos. Each emotion trying hard for the biggest space in my head. And in that chaos, the moment gets lost. Such is the situation today. I know I will miss this office, some people, the running around etc. But will I do it again if given a chance? I dont know.
I think the change of dreams are responsible for this havoc in my head. I mean I always wanted to belong to the media in Mumbai, but when I actually went through a 'test-dose' in this one month, I am not sure if this is what I wanted. Failure in dreams is at least an end, but confusion at this stage is scary. I know I want to be in the field of media but in Mumbai is not something concrete in my mind anymore.
Hmm. I guess that is too much of speaking-my-mind done. So that's all for now.
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