The Fine Crumbs of Sand

Finally here it is. My oh-so-rare mood to scribble something! It’s not the lack of matter or the lack of activity, it’s more an issue of keeping up. And of choice!

When there are so many things to mention, confusion arises as to what is important and what is not. And that confusion prevails long enough to kill the mood.

Life it seems has become something of the sort too. Nothing that has happened over the last two months is unimportant and yet for any of it to become a post here, dreary confusion has played the spoil sport.

So, here I am living a life that every 24 year old wishes to live. Big and most importantly a desired job, great prospects, new city, new people, good money and the independence of it all! A perfect start to the career I wished for.

But then there is this feeling. A feeling that comes when people, with whom you lived every waking moment, become mere voices on phone. Comforting and loving but mere voices. It makes you realize that there is more to life than having a job or being independent. There is something in a loved one’s hug that money or independence cannot give you.

I know most people who stay away from family and friends feel this. And not surprisingly, they shrug it off or muse it over as ‘homesickness’. Some don’t talk about it thinking it’s uncool. Like I said, when you have the above said ‘amenities’, being homesick is a spoiler.

I miss everything about home. My folks, my dog, my bed, my dirty shorts that I haven’t been allowed to bring, my gate that creaks, my scooty that gets all the attention when it’s on the road for its sound, my fighting neighbour and everything that’s there and has been in contact with me.

It’s not like I am lonely here. There are people; there is my work and everything else to look forward to. But at times, when I am lying on my bed, thinking of all those moments spent just arguing with people, emptiness creeps in. A question pops up. Is this life really worth giving up all those people and things so associated with you?

If not, then what is life worth? Is it just about simply living it off? So many people I met, have been ‘running’ through life, not pausing to take a breather and see what’s passing them on the way. In their frenzy to establish and secure their life, they are at the end of the day, letting their life just pass. Like how in an attempt to hold a fist full of sand, the more you tighten your grip, the more it falls from between your fingers. And when you open your fist, all that you have are some crumbs; all the fine sand is gone. Just like those fine moments in life…