Of leopards and coconut-graters...

We, Mallus are madly in love with two things. Mohanlal and coconut.  We use coconut in God alone knows what all forms.  There is this one way where you scrap the white insides into small fine pieces.  Before the modern grater was invented, we in Kerala invented an iron equipment called the ‘Cherava’.  Now the ‘cherava’ is scary looking machinery.  It has an iron part attached to a wooden plank that looks like a seat, with the iron part having pointed claw-like ends.  The whole thing weighs around two-three kilograms.  To scrap out the coconut, one has to sit on the plank and work in a particular rhythm.  Believe it or not, you still find it in some of the modern households in Kerala and very much in use!  Now, how does an ancient coconut-grater connect to the story that I am going to tell, is something to be known by the end of the tale. 

Now, starting with the story, last week, the paper was full of photographs about a crocodile which had strayed onto the road following heavy rains and rising level of river water.  I came up to show my old woman the clearly-taken (I should say cleverly-taken) shots of Mr. Croc.  She gave them all a little less than two minutes and then gave a oh-please-I’ve-seen-better look.  Seeing me a little disappointed she told me about a funny encounter she had when she was six.

During that time, her grandparents were living with them.  I’ll get confused, first, if I try to put it like my grandmother’s grandmother.  So my grandmother’s grandmother is GM and her grandfather is GP.  So while GM and GP were living with them, their village was very remote.  So much so that dense forests separated two neighboring houses.  Hence, wild animal sighting was normal, and this I mean in kitchens and backyards of houses. Shudder!

Anyway, one particular day, GM took my old lady and her siblings ‘to shit’ towards the pastures a little beyond their house.  Making them all sit, she came back to attend to GP who sat in the porch, chewing betel-leaf.  Now, during those few days, there was a huge leopard scare.  Apparently one large male had left its deep forest abode to check out the streets and some new markets.  While GM was in kitchen, GP in the porch, and the kids shitting (And NOT shitting bricks, as they didn’t know about the lurking hero then…), somebody from the neighbourhood shouted about the leopard being around the house. 

GM heard this and throwing everything around, ran towards the kids yelling her lungs out.  GP did not move.  She reached the area (the kids kept moving from one spot to another after every helping) and found all four kids out.  Two she picked up (my nani being one of them) and literally dragged the other two (all of them only half done with their helpings).  GP did not move.  She ran inside, put all the whining and shitting kids down and banged the door close.  GP still did not move.  She kept yelling at him to get inside the house and to close it, but GP did not move.  Then she saw something move among the plants, got very scared and closed the door.  Now the door was made of coconut leaves (see what I mean when I said we Mallus love coconut!) and it did not have a latch. 

As GM searched for heavy things to put against the door to shut it tight, GP, still sitting coolly outside, still chewing betel-leaves, says, “Dear, put the ‘cherava’ against the door.  The leopard will never be able to break the door down.”

Very silent and almost about to shit bricks (I am sorry, I couldn’t resist my temptation to put this!), I, paused for a minute after that dialogue, imitated in a croaked voice, by my super story-teller, and burst out laughing.  I laughed till my insides hurt and till I decided that this story, of leopards and coconut-scrapers, is going to be a part of my nani chronicles.